Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Way To Go Genius!

I managed to make it 2 months through coaching Girl's cheer squad without seriously injuring any body parts or making a gigantic ass (*ahem*) of myself. In fact, it was all going so well. Even the things I thought were going to be impossible turned out just fine. I managed to not saying anything so terribly stupid that I couldn't possibly recover. The parents didn't look at me as though I had 2 heads.

This is the last week of practice, Saturday is the last game. I was finally starting to think that maybe I could be around people.

Then after practice I stayed to talk to some of the moms and somehow ended up telling them about how mannequins and I don't get along.

They had a good laugh and then suddenly decided it was time to leave.

Sometimes I wish I could hire someone to follow me around and tell me when to shut up.

Because Apparently? I Have Nothing Better To Do.

Usually I trash all the spam in my bulk folder after a quick check because I know sometimes my friend's e-mails end up in there. But then one day I came across this e-mail whose subject read: Your sperm will be thankful to you if you order Spermamax.
And, like any 12 year old, I couldn't stop giggling.
So it stayed. For weeks, every time I would open my bulk folder I would see this e-mail and smirk.
Finally, curiosity got the better of me and I opened the e-mail.

And it was blank.

Blank? How can you offer me such a great promise to make my sperm oh so grateful, so beholden it may offer me tokens of appreciation. Like flowers or candy. Or something useful like a new car or a trouble free uterus.

So I googled it.

And I laughed even more and then realized that I need to grow up. There is really nothing funny about being awarded by Top Rated Penis Pills.