Monday, November 06, 2006

The Crazy

It never fails to amaze me how easily my MIL can adapt.
Recently, she has been calling and 'asking' us to come over for a visit. This basically amounts to her calling, leaving messages about all the food she has and how she misses the kids and have we gone to church lately? She will then call back 5 minutes later to see what time we are coming. Never mind that we never even answered the phone much less agreed to go.
When we don't show, she calls back crying about how we 'stood her up'.
She left this message last weekend:
(And I would try to set it up so you could hear it but I've learned that it takes at least 3 years before you can even begin to understand what she is saying and once she really gets going? Forget it. Even Joe can't understand it.)
"You no have to come over this weekend. I know you very busy with your family and you don't have time for mom. I'm fine. Don't bother worry about me. I pray for you 3 time every day. You pray for me. I'm OK. I miss kids. Is Hurricane liking his school? (OK, this is a totally ridiculous and less then subtle hint that she hasn't seen him in ages. She knows he's not even 2 yet.) No one have time for mom anymore. You have own family and don't love me anymore. I'm OK. Love you, bye-bye. You come for dinner soon?"


It's crazy. Still, it's not nearly as bad as the messages where you can only understand half of what she says.

But the thing that always gets me, the thing that just leaves me slack-jawed, is how she can erase reality.

If you tell her something she doesn't want to hear, she will forget that she ever even spoke to you. I'm not saying she pretends to forget. I mean, she really forgets. If she doesn't like it, it never happened.

Which is why she thinks we haven't spoken in months. Joe keeps telling her we won't come over until the house is clean (I miss my little bottle of 409) but it's not something she wants to hear. So, she doesn't.

It's why arguing with her is pointless. She never remembers what she says or what you say so nothing ever changes.

Whatever. She's totally going to live with my sister and her son when the time comes.