Friday, February 03, 2006

Babies Are Rude

Think about it. If anyone else woke you up 3 to 4 times a night screaming, demanding to be fed and burped you'd throw them out the window. Can you imagine someone coming up to you and asking you to wipe their ass and slap on a new diaper? Or have you carry them everywhere? Entertain them and fulfill their every whim? Ok, I've had a few bosses like that (minus the diaper thing and please don't tell me if your boss ever had the thing about the diapers because ew!) They are demanding. They never say please and thank you. They throw up on you and then smile.
Go out on the street and find a perfect stranger. Throw up on them and then smile. See what happens. I doubt that they'll clean you up and try to make you feel better. Oh and I really don't recommend that you go out and find someone to throw up on. You'll probably get punched.
Who else on the planet could get away with groping you in public and have the people around you think it's cute?

Hurricane grabs my boobs and pinches until I yelp and everyone thinks that's 'adorable'. Yeah. So are the bruises.
He kicks and it's funny. Well, funny for him. My legs, now a lovely shade of eggplant, are mildly less amused.
He sticks his fingers in his nose and says 'cookie' now on a nearly daily basis and I can't help but giggle. Even if we are in the middle dinner.
He yells for my attention if I dare to answer the phone. And the caller always responds with 'Oh how sweet. I'll call you later when he's napping or something.' I think of it was my husband yelling for my attention, they'd be a bit more annoyed. Plus? All I can think is 'damn! I need some adult interaction before Elmo takes over my mind!'
And do I even need to mention the shape he left my body in? I mean come on! If you're going to borrow something, you should leave it the same way you found it!

And I can't wait to do it all over again.