Thursday, June 01, 2006

The One Which Proves We're Crazy and Perhaps That Padded Room Is Not Such A Bad Idea

Girl X came home from school 2 days ago and decided that it was time to introduce Hurricane to the fun that is popping bubbles in the house. But not just any bubbles. No. She had to use the Mutant Bubbles that do not pop unless you physically smash them. And they actually make noise. Do you remember when we were kids and our moms (ok maybe not my mom because ha! But some moms did, I saw the neighbor mom do it anyway) made us bubbles with dish soap and water? Seriously, Mutant Bubbles. The hell?
So, they're having a great time and I'm counting the soapy bubbles being smashed into the carpet and walls as some form of cleaning (See? Looking on the bright side of things! Pardon me while my head explodes) and Hurricane is trying to eat them. Which? With these he is actually succeeding except that you know, soap bubbles. Maybe not tasting as good as he had hoped and it was not such a good idea after all to be eating the bubbles that dropped to the floor. Meanwhile I'm contemplating the nutritional value of said bubbles because I'll take what I can get.
This story does have a point, one which will possibly prove my insanity and that maybe we have found the reason why my neighbors think I'm an idiot and maybe you won't want to be my friend anymore but I am compelled to continue.
Bubbles. Right.
Girl X gets bored and we put the bubbles away and Hurricane does not like this idea because he was maybe getting used to the taste of the bubbles and liking the way they popped in his mouth not in his hands.
So I did what any good mom would do. Put him in front of the TV and dazzled him with Elmo.
"Ooohhh! Look! See Elmo? Yes, lala. Yay! He's going to rap again! Ok, mommy's just going to stick her head in the oven and pretend she doesn't know all the words to this furry little bastard's song! Ok? great!"
Fast forward to later that evening. Hurricane is almost ready for bed. Girl X is brushing her teeth. Mr X is trying to kick himself in the head (Long story short, Girl X managed to kick herself in the face and he wanted to see if he could do it too. Aren't you sorry you asked now? Thought so.)
I look up and... What? Is that? The hell! It is!
"Look! It's a bubble."
Mr X looks.
Girl X looks.
Hurricane sticks a finger up his nose.
There, hanging over the entertainment center was a bubble. One that Girl X had been blowing earlier. It simply hung there, suspended mid air.
It was a bubble. We all got bored very quickly and went on with the night.

The bubble?
Still there.
Still floating in mid air.

Still freaking there.

Seriously, how long of a shelf like are these things supposed to have?

Now, here is where we kind of lost it and which kind of explains the title and shows you just how pointless this whole damn post is and now maybe you're wishing you could have the last few minutes of your life back and... um... sorry?

Mr X took Girl X to the far end of the room and began waving his arms at it.
Girl X began to also wave her arms at it.

Followed by wild arm waving.

And it did.

Followed by wildly bringing their arms down.

And it DID.

Then Mr X decided that it was a bubble sent by the CIA to spy on us.
Because I'm sure they so want to know Hurricane's secret ability to tele-transport himself and then there's that whole climbing the walls thing.

I told Mr X I didn't believe him.

But just in case, after he went to bed?

I mooned it.

Then tonight.... Yes, it's still there. Floating above my entertainment center where no bubble should be.

Anyway, tonight Mr X decided that it was an alien sent to study us. I asked him if he'd been probed yet. Because we all know where aliens probe right?

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Would you like me to check on that?

"Shut up!"

I think he meant no. I think he meant that I should wait until he's sound asleep and then maybe poke him in the cheek a little. Damn. That's so mean. You know? I am so going to have to do that now.

Anyway, I decided to have a little chat with the bubble. (Remember what I said earlier? yeah. So sorry, again.)

I apologized for mooning it. I expressed my distress at having this strange bubble hanging over my entertainment center for 2 days.

It simply hung there. Just out of my reach.

I suggested that perhaps it would like to see the rest of the world. Maybe go to Rome. I hear Rome is a lovely place to visit for bubbles.

It bobbed a little.

I said that perhaps it was a ghost bubble and maybe it should like, head to the light? I told it that it's mommy and daddy bubble would be there on the other side waiting for it.

It bobbed a little more.

Girl X shook her head and went downstairs muttering something about crazy and embarrassing.

Mr X went to bed.

Hurricane continued to sleep with one hand in his diaper.

And the bubble is still just hanging there.