Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Universe? You May Bite Me Now.

It was a very bad day for the X household. To be more accurate, it was the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day. It involved entirely too much blood shed and not enough vodka. It seems that there is never enough vodka.

First up is Girl X. She chose today to assert her authority over her brother by kicking him and knocking him over as opposed to her usual routine of simply ramming into him.
The repeated assaults have me questioning whether I am facing nature vs nurture here. It does nothing to assuage my fears of her turning into her biological father one day.

Then Hurricane decided that his train table was Mount Everest and today was the day he was going to conquer it. And from there my craft table. He almost made it onto the craft table before he realized that I was standing there, frozen, and he fell.
In case I did not state this clearly before, head wounds? BLEED A HOLY CRAP LOT!!
Great timing too since he's getting his pictures taken soon. I'm grateful for the fact that he finally has hair. Hair that mostly covers up the evidence of my bad mothering.

Remember those chairs I was recovering? The ones with an unholy amount of staples? The ones that made me go out of my fucking mind crazy?
Right. So I thought maybe I should just finish them and get it over with. Except that I picked today to try it. Today. The Day of Much Bloodshed.
Say it with me....

Staples that shoot into your foot? They hurt. A lot. A lot enough to make you forget that your broken toe is still not healed.

Those chairs can stay a hideous cross between giant purple flowers and blue toile for the rest of eternity because there is no fucking way I am taking one more step towards them unless I'm carrying an axe.

Or a blow torch.

Just as soon as someone tells me how to work a blow torch.

Mr X came home and showed me his hand. He thought today would be a fun day to play with metal shards and slice through the nail bed on 2 of his fingers. That? So ugly! And ow. And bloody. And... ow.

And as a capper to the evening, Girl X wasn't paying attention to what she was doing while clipping her nails and managed to clip off some of her finger.

So tell me Jo Jo, what did you learn today?