There have been many times during my tenure as 'mom' that I have wondered if maybe my kids are more than just a little.... insane.
Yes, maybe it's not me. It's them. There is no other explanation for the things that they do and say except that they are crazy and they are taking me with them.
Like when Bre decided that our cat wanted blue oatmeal. Which she made in my kitchen towel drawer with peach oatmeal mix and blues clues applesauce. So much fun to clean that up.
Or when she thought she'd make pancakes. On my floor.
Did you know that bisquick, juice and glue is really nasty?
So far, David's adventures in the manic arena have been pretty much limited to the odd comment or face.
Or... they had been.
The other morning, after being poked in the head for the millionth time, I turned on cartoons and drifted back to sleep. He still has not learned that 6 am is not a good time to poke mommy in the back of the head. He has learned that doing so will buy him an hour of early morning cartoons and the fun of stuffing things up my nose as I snore.
When I gave up for the morning an hour later he was just laying there, smiling and clearly pleased with himself.
Normally, this would have sent the alarm bells a-ringing but my brain is not firing on all cylinders lately.
I suggested a diaper change, normal routine.
And he said 'No'.
Huh? He never says no! Well, he says no but not to the first morning diaper change.
He continued to smile at me.
"Wanna' shake my booty!"
Go on and shake it then little dude.
And that's when I heard it.
That strange little noise clinking around as he shook as hard as he could, grinning like a fool and watching me.
The hell? What! Is! That!!???!!!
He shook his butt a little harder and started laughing like a lunatic.
I grabbed him to change his diaper and see just what he'd been up to and he dissolved into hysterical laughter.
I don't know what exactly I was expecting to find. There have been plenty of surprises in the diaper arena during the last 2 and half years- none of them particularly pleasant.
But never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect to find the pile of quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies that were pooled out of there.
Dude! My son poops money!! I have the human change machine!
Ok, so really he had just dumped the contents of a change jar in there but it was nice to dream for a moment. It's much nicer to think that he could poop money then what actually comes out of there.
And as I looked over at my darling son, still grinning like a fool, he informed me that "I have butt money mama!"
And I'm the crazy one??