Mr X Gets Knocked Up

* A friend directed me to this website: http://www.thepregnancytester.com/
We were having fun goofing around with it and I thought it would be funny to get Mr X play. At the point where it does the 'scan', Mr X leaned in intently, unblinking.
"What the froggy hell are you doing?"

"It says to hold still for the scan."

And he was serious. I love this man.
Yes, Mr X is pregnant. It's a boy. Even better?

The father is Boss Hogg.

*Hurricane's love of Elmo is only surpassed by his love of a ball. Any ball. Even pictures of a ball. Tonight it was the footballs that Mr X has deemed off limits as they are still in their packaging (and will forever remain so) and on top of his display case.
Hurricane reached his hands up and began this whispery awe-filled chant of 'ball'. When this did not work, he began screaming 'ball'. Mr X agreed that it was in fact, a ball. This did not satisfy Hurricane.
So he grabbed Mr X's face, leaned in and screamed 'ball'! As in 'GIVE ME THAT THING NOW'.
Mr X managed to keep it in the box and still satisfy Hurricane's NEED to touch the ball.
And we learned a valuable lesson.
He's not just saying these words for fun. He means business.

*I found the perfect book for this family. It's called The History of Farting.
I went into a fit of childish giggles upon seeing the title.

*My parents sent the kids some souvenirs from their vacation and a toy for each of them from home. Girl X got a phone. A Bratz phone. These giant purpley lips that just freak the bejesus out of me. She's 8. She's not getting a phone in her room. My luck, she'd end up calling Japan and racking up several thousand dollars. Not that I ever did that as kid. (Sorry Dad!)
Hurricane got this motorcycle thing. No wheels, just the part with all the buttons and the handlebars. And as with anything that a grandparent would send their grandchild, it's noisy as hell.
Bonus points because it made Cat hiss and then run under the hutch sputtering and mewling. I think he's still under there in protest.

* We're taking Hurricane to get his first haircut this weekend. It's long enough to put in a little ponytail and his hair is always in his eyes. He's my little hippie.
Given his inability to sit still for 2 seconds, even when sleeping, this should be an interesting attempt.

Shopping With A Toddler

Need a workout? Borrow a toddler!
****I do not recommend randomly picking up a toddler at the mall as this will likely freak out the parents and get you beaten with a stroller.****
I took Hurricane to a book store today. I wanted to pick up What your Child Needs to Know For 2nd Grade or something like that. It was a small store, not in the mall (yay!) and there were no shopping carts. Shopping carts; the great cages on wheels. They've become vital to shopping as that is the only way to keep Hurricane in one place for more than 2 seconds.
I spent most of my time chasing Hurricane, trying to distract him with a book, telling him to stop begging strangers for cookies and keeping him from sneaking out the door.
I think I grabbed the right title although I can't be sure. I haven't looked. I may very well have grabbed the Kama Sutra 101 that was on the next shelf. Or How Not to Spill Taco Goop All Over Your Clothing (if there is no such book, there should be one and I would buy it because my clothes? They love the taco goop).
given Hurricane's ability to teletransport, it was an exhausting trip. At one point I had to pull him out of a bin of sale books. I almost walked by him but then he started yelling 'DAR' (he does this all. the. time. at home in order to 'scare' me). I turned around and there he was. Happily eating a board book (yes I bought it and in case you were wondering, Elmo board books taste better than The Wiggles board books based on how many Hurricane has eaten and spit out).
I think this counts as a workout.