Saturday, December 31, 2005

Ways in Which to Annoy My Husband

I'm a movie talker. I don't do it when we're in the theaters, but at home, I can't help it. It's why Mr X usually wears headphones. I can talk and he doesn't have to hear me.
Tonight he didn't.
Tonight he made me watch Star Wars III. I don't mind really, but it's definitely not my usual thing.

Tonight, I got The Look for the following:

*Repeatedly referring to the movie as Star Trek. At first, it was an innocent mistake but when he started getting annoyed, it was just funny.

* When the Chancellor turned to whats-his-face-that-turns-into-Garth-Vader and said "I have good news", without missing a beat I shouted "I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!"

*Repeatedly asking when 'Garth' Vader was going to show up. Yes I know it's Darth. But Garth is funnier.

* Asking if he ever noticed that his mom kind of looks like Yoda, only not so wise.

* "Water, you will pass Mr X-ey one"

* "You kind of look like that Dog thing honey."
"That's a Wookie Mrs X"
"Bless you."
"What?"
"I thought you sneezed."

* Telling my increasingly less patient husband that Garth Vader was hot with that mask on and the heavy breathing? What a turn on! I bet he made great dirty phone calls.

*Asking why Captain Picard wasn't in there fighting with the force.

* Asking who the gold man was about 6 times. And no I don't remember.

* Telling him R2D2 looked like a trash can on wheels and that I dressed as him for halloween one year as a kid.

* Telling him I wanted an R2D2 for my birthday so I wouldn't have to dust anymore.

* Repeatedly referring to Samuel L Jackson as Julien and saying that it would be so much more kick ass if he'd start doing that speech he always did in Pulp Fiction. Can you picture Yoda as John Travolta? Doing the twist with Uma? Uh-huh. Totally kick ass right?

He went to bed before the movie was even over. His headphones are charging so there's always next time!