Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Random Bits

* Boy will now be known as Hurricane. Girl X was Tornado as a toddler. She had this amazing ability to whip through rooms at high rates of speed so that the only evidence that she had been there at all, was the path of absolute destruction she left behind. Boy is the same way, but with the added benefit of water. This kid sprays drool with glee as he is tearing through the house. When he takes off his diaper (which he loves to do) he becomes a category 5, leaving Cat amid the flood waters.
Hurricane seems very fitting.

* I will never ever again let Mr X 'help' me re-upholster anything again. Ever. I have 2 chairs done. The one he did? He pulled it so tight it looks it belongs to Joan Rivers.
Also? Whoever stapled those chairs? HATE!!!

* Nothing goes better with the loss of your dignity than knowing that you just ripped the hell out of the butt of your pants. And your neighbors saw the whole thing. And they've started waving AA pamphlets in your general direction. And you don't drink.
Not that I know anything about that. Erp.

* I currently have 7 projects going. I am in my element.

I am also insane.

* When boiling eggs, it's a good idea to set a timer. And remember what that timer is for.
Eggs stink when they explode.

Not that I'd know anything about that.

* Hurricane invented a new game last night. It's called 'How Fast Can You Make Mommy Cry?' It entails waiting until I just fall asleep, than crying. As soon as I get up, go back to sleep. As soon as my head hits the pillow, cry. I sit up, you go to sleep. I lay down, you cry. Repeat until I burst into your room, crying 'You win! You can get a tattoo and your butt pierced and here, take my car and my credit cards just please for the love of awesome shoes SLEEP!' Then laugh because making mommy breakdown is funny.

* Hurricane is gearing up for another round of 'how many teeth can I pop up at once?' which is probably why his sleep and eating habits went all to hell. Yet another thing I forgot about babyhood.

* Girl X told me that a boy in her class is 'totally adorable and he wanted to give me his pudding but I said no.' I don't know whether to laugh or cry. At least she's finally stopped saying 'that's hott' (I loathe Paris Hilton and her stupid stupid slang slinging, brain-draining everywhere-ness).