Me: "Can we count popcorn as a vegetable?"
Mr X: "No."
"Why not? It's corn."
"Yeah but once you pop it, it loses it's vegetability."
"It loses its... vege.. vegeta.. ve-wha?"
"That's not a word."
"It is now."
"That makes it sound like vegetables have super powers."
"That would make a really cool Halloween costume."
"Have you been eating expired yogurt again?"
"Not this week. But really, think about it. I bet there's a way to start off in a corn kernel costume then like, pull a cord and have it explode into popcorn. Like BAM! Gimme some candy or I'll pop! and then go back to a kernel before you get to the next house."
"Tell me something."
"How the hell did you ever get me to marry you?"
"I didn't say this kind of stuff when we were dating."
"I don't know where I'm going."
"You must have lost your vegetability."
From the backseat:
"Promise me that you two will never speak to my friends."
Which means we have filled our obligation as parents. Our daughter is embarrassed by us. Yay us!