20 Shades of Red

Girl X has spring break this week (how unfair is that? We never had spring break as kids. If I wanted a whole week off of school I had to cover myself in little red spots (thank you crayola) and stick the thermometer up to the lightbulb like every other normal kid.) and has been home demanding to be entertained.
I almost had her convinced that dusting and folding laundry was fun, but then she heard me tell Mr X that I had her cleaning the house and it was over.
Since I was getting a little stir crazy and Hurricane still refuses to nap (dammit), we went to the library.
We will not be going to the library again for as long as I can stand it, or until I'm convinced that the librarians have very short memories.
It was fine at first- isn't it always? Girl X found a book and tucked down into a quiet corner near where her brother was happily playing with this block set.
I walked 5 feet away, kids still in sight, to look at the non-fiction section for some books I've been waiting to check out.
I was reading the backcover of one when I felt it.
It being the sharp teeth of one very small barracuda.
I yelped- it so COULD NOT be helped- and jumped back, knocking Hurricane to the ground and thus causing him to scream.
I carried him out of the library with my eyes half closed so as to avoid the angry shushing of the librarian. He calmed down instantly and 'ooed' at the pretty flowers nearby.
We snuck back in and he went straight for his sister, who shrugged and started to read to him.
I went back to my book hunt.
Then I heard this familiar noise.
Whenever we're in the living room, Hurricane has this compulsion where he must pull off every single DVD on the shelves because Gah! If I don't mom the whole world will end! Those things belong on the floor!
I turned around and saw that Hurricane feels the same way about books as he does DVD's. Girl X just rolled her eyes and went back to reading.
I put the books back on the shelf in as close to order as I could as quickly as I could and redirected my little monster to the toys.
I started checking out Girl X's books and mine when Hurricane decided that it was his turn to push the buttons on the computer and the kid who was on it had better just deal with it.

My toddler made a 4 year old cry.

I picked him up and told him 'no'.

He smiled at me, stuck his finger up my nose and said 'no'.

I pulled his finger out of my nose and said 'no'.

He has been weaned for 4 months now. He has shown no signs of missing it or even remembering what the boobs were once for. Therefore I can only assume that he chose to do this because of something his father told him.

He grabbed my shirt, pulled down the front and yelled 'MMMMMM' (which he only does when he's going to eat).

Yes. A roomful of kids, librarians and parents got to see the goods.

We aren't leaving the house for the rest of the week.

Spring break be damned.