Thursday, May 11, 2006

Goat Sex, Bitches, and Special Panties.....

I'm sorry. So sorry. I say that because really? This post sucks. I mean, the title, it's so promising and then, ah. Nothing. Yeah.

L left today. Both my kids cried.
Hurricane will miss her attention, the millions of pictures she took (note, not that ones posted here) and her constant calls for 'little Mr Sexy Lips'.
He learned to say "Hi Ti-ti" (hi auntie) and taught her the joy of a well-placed 'doh!' Also? There was much naked running (and here I interject my deepest apologies porn seekers. I recommend Goat sex. All better?)
Girl X will miss keeping her up late at night and thereby avoiding the very necessary school-night sleep. "It's 5-oh-oh Aunt L! Let's talk for one more minute." Further proof that she is an alien as no child of mine would be that happy at '5-oh-oh' am. I mean... really? 5 am? What the hell is wrong with her? Doesn't she realize she's supposed to save that for college and all night binge drinking right before finals?
I? I will miss being able to take a shower without Hurricane trying to crawl into the stall with me.
The first morning she was here I went to take Hurricane in the bedroom with me while I showered.
"I'll watch him if it's ok with you!"

Are you... wait. Am I on punk'd? Seriously? Ok.
I left her with the basic instructions of:
1)Don't let him eat Cat or various other non-edible items he will attempt to cram into his mouth.
2)Don't mention the 'C' word. You know, the one that sends him into convulsions until you actually give him one of those chocolate-chipped toddler mufflers.
3) Do not block his view of Elmo. He will knock you over and smother you with his bare feet.

She survived but I don't think she will readily make that offer again.

There really isn't much lead in to this. I just like the picture. That and the lady snapping the pictures could not seem to stop. I have a sheet of 16 poses and I think the only reason she stopped was because he finally held up his hand and said 'NOOOO!' and leapt into my arms.


As I was begging him to sleep last night, offering him all the cookies he could eat, beer, the freedom to run with scissors, anything just for the love of my sanity sleep!, I tried to remind myself that this is only a short time in my life. And then I told me to SHUT UP! Then the me that was sleeping started yelling 'SHUT UP Bitches!' and then I think I started laughing and Hurricane slowly rolled away from me and fell asleep. I think I might need a full uninterrupted 4 hours of sleep. Gah! That would be beautiful. Moving on because even I recognize that there are only so many times a person can bitch about sleep before someone threatens to shove skewers through their fingers.


Mr X has to go to Arizona for work next week. I hate it when he has to go and he's not looking forward to it but eh.

And fear not, I wrapped my Man Saving Panties around his head which, to my understanding , is the best place for them.


And is it just me or does anyone think it's funny that when googling for 'Man Saving Panties' they ask if you meant 'Man Shaving Panties'?

No one else? Really? Just me then. Ok... well... Hee!!

And again, because I can, some of my most favorite recent pics of the sleepless wonder.

To head off the inevitable question, the shirt reads "I do all my own stunts". And yes, he does.