Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I Can Hear It Howling From Here.

Ick. And then more Ick.
I already had sleep issues. Getting Boy to sleep through the night was cake. Getting me to sleep through the night? Never going to happen.
I talk in my sleep. I've been caught sleepwalking. I have INSANE dreams that sometimes leave me wondering if that really happened. This week, I thought I was dreaming that I had gotten up and accidentally messed up my alarm clock. I even fixed it, in my dream. Unfortunately, it wasn't all a dream. I did try to fix my alarm clock except I was awake for that part and ended up screwing it up royally.
It gets worse when I'm pregnant. Towards the end of my pregnancy with Boy, I had one really vivid dream that Mr X still teases me about.
It was November, really cold, but I was still sleeping with the window open and the fan going because pregnancy makes you hot. Really freaking hot. Mr X couldn't stand it and was sleeping on the couch. I half woke up at 3:30 because he came in the room and kissed my belly. I could smell his soap and I remember thinking that was strange. 20 minutes later I heard the ice cream truck go by. He was playing that music and it was so loud. I remember wondering just what the froggy hell was going on! Then I heard sirens. 3 police cars went by and I could see their lights flashing on the ceiling. I was too tired to care that much and fell back asleep.
Then I heard Mr X yelling and saw that the light in the front room was on. I could hear him talking to his boss and telling him what was going on. The ice cream truck came by again followed by even more police. I couldn't believe my husband was on the phone to his boss at 4 am telling him about the ice cream truck that was going by waking up the neighborhood. I figured that the whole town had just gone nuts. Or some kid had found the keys and thought 'fun!'
I tried to get up but the belly just required too much effort.
When I woke up next it was 4:10 and the house was dark and quiet. I finally pulled myself out of bed and began walking through the house trying to understand what had just happened. I looked out the windows but the street was quiet. Which at 4:10 am, it should be.
I saw Mr X asleep and figured I'd just let it go. I turned around to go back to bed but I woke him up when I came down and he asked me what I was doing.
I asked him what his boss said when he told him about the ice cream truck.

The look on his face, and the laughter following my explanation, pretty much told me I had lost my ever-loving mind. And to top it all off? He never came in and kissed my belly.

Yeah. I get crazy during sleep. I also have a vivid imagination.

Knowing this, I can only assume my SIL's description of the wolf spider she found in her house was a device of torture.

I was then given all these fun facts:

*Wolf spiders are only poisonous to other spiders which makes them good and the kind you want to have around. (Except I don't because in my mind, this thing is big and mean enough to eat a person. Especially a person with a vivid imagination and natural born disgust for the creepy crawlies.)

* They are fairly big and hairy (Great. I'll take them to the barber and get them some cornrows).

*They have beady little black eyes. (which will now haunt me for all eternity)

I hung up on her before she could tell me more because Ick. I can already feel the little bastards crawling on me. I can hear them hissing and howling. Although, I doubt that they actually howl. Or hiss. But they do in my head.

Getting the Heebie Jeebies before bed is just very, very bad.