It had been 2 years since I'd died my hair and it showed. I didn't have roots. I had two-tone hair. It was flat and boring and I'd had it. I got a new haircut. Still long, but with some layers to give my thick hair some lift. I'm on a bit of a budget and though I probably could have afforded to let my stylist dye my hair, I'd become a pro at it over the years.
As I let the dye set into my hair I could feel my spirit lift. Who says moms have to sacrifice everything, including great hair, in order to be good moms? I knew the color would be good; chestnut brown with hints of deep red tones. And after rinsing the color and drying my freshly clipped locks I could see that I was right. No drips, no stains on the scalp. Just perfect color.
I had gotten one of those boxes that included a complimenting shade of highlights. I'd never done highlights before but how hard could it be?
I carefully mixed the dye and followed the instructions, slathering on the blue-tinted dye in sections around my head. I waited the suggested 15 minutes for those subtle, natural highlights. I daydreamed about my husband's certain reaction.
He would come home after a long hard days work and marvel at this wondrous beauty he was so lucky to be married too. He would run his fingers through my hair and refer to me henceforth as 'My Hot Wife'.
I imagined my hair in it's soft waves bouncing gently as I walked around the neighborhood, redeemed in my neighbors' eyes for who but an angel could have such glorious hair? Surely not the same lady who nearly decapitated herself with a shovel running away from a mole!
I was excited to rinse my hair and see the lovely results of my effort. I brushed through it slowly, wondering if maybe it was so.... bright? because it was wet.
I began to blow it dry and my horror only grew.
It was orange.
Ronald Mc-freaking-Donald Orange!
Not only RMD Orange, but not in those sweet little sections I had laid out. No, it was in giant clumps around my head! It looks like someone dumped orange paint on my head and I haven't bothered to wash it out.
I said nothing when my husband came home. He stopped and looked at me. He started to open his mouth but thought better of it and quietly went into the bathroom to laugh.
I bought new hair dye today.