Thursday, March 30, 2006

An Ordinary Life

My sister and I are at this weird point in our relationship where we're talking, but always careful to avoid any mention of what she did to burn me. I'm trying to just accept that this is how it will always be.
We were recently talking about feminism. Which? No. Not going there today. I could go on for miles but I can sum it up really quickly with this:
Feminism is about choice and being a stay at home mom is my choice. And no, my being one does not set back feminism 100 years.
Her main question?
"When you were young didn't you imagine more than this?"

"Well yeah. When I was a kid I had my heart set on being Rainbow Brite."

"I mean, didn't you want more than just an ordinary life?"

The honest answer is no. There were many things I wanted when I was a kid. An ordinary life was right at the top of that list. Although, at the time I don't think I realized that it was 'ordinary'.
I wanted a husband who loved me and kids, Lots of kids. In fact, before I learned where they come out of, I wanted 12. After I learned where they come out of, I wanted my future husband to be the first pregnant man in history. I wanted a house and a dog. I wanted my kids to be involved in sports and love to read. I wanted to live near my dad and stepmom so they could have a huge part of my kids lives. I wanted to live far away from my mom so she couldn't. I wanted in-laws I adored. Weekend trips to the beach, museums, mini-golf and bowling. I wanted a family. Happy and healthy. Hallmark perfect family.
For the most part I have that.
Except that my parents live far enough away that we only get to see them maybe once a year and my in-laws? Well. Yeah. There is that. My mom died before my husband and I even met. We're happy, but health.........
I think now the only thing I could really ask for is health.
So my life is, mostly, ordinary.
When my sister says it, it sounds like a disease.
"I'm sorry Sister X. You have Ordinaryoma. I'm afraid you only have 45 years left with your kids and husband and good health."

And what is so damn wrong with ordinary? What is so wrong about not wanting to be famous or insanely wealthy?
What is so bad about being happy just being who you are?


Irishgoddess said...

There is nothing wrong with that! It took me a long time to accept that a "normal", quiet life could be a happy life. We don't always need action, drama, intrigue. I feel like I have finally matured enough to say "THIS is my life. It is ordinary, and I love it."

mr_g said...

There is nothing wrong at all. In fact, it's refreshing to hear a woman not ooohing and aaahing about the cute outfits, beautiful homes and nice, shiny things in all of those damn magazines desinged to remind you of how ordinary sucks. It doesn't suck and it's cool that you pretty much got what you wanted in life. I'm guessing your sister is so bitter about your choices out of disenchantment with her own!

Mrs.X said...

It was more of a rhetorical question but I'm glad I'm not the only one! I thin there's something very comforting in ordinary.

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